Chopping Up Sentences

I remember once when I was in the very early days of editing people in place and I was editing the work of a a colleague who my new rather well and I was chopping the sentences up and I was changing the pronouns and I was putting the active voice in which we’ll come to in a moment and I gave it back to him and he was pretty downcast I’ve learnt to be kind and now it was pretty downcast and he says what’s wrong with my writing am i using too many dangling participles and I thought my poor darling you wouldn’t know a dangling possibly hit you between the eyes dangling participle.

I had to look one up on the web to get an example because they’re not very common turning the corner a handsome school building appeared well that’s the dangling participle you don’t actually see a handsome school building turning the corner it was you turned the corner I sort of had some school what they were we won’t worry about dangling participles for any any more time at all because you’re not going to use them the active and passive voice now this is something I think it’s a shame that students aren’t taught early on because it’s one of these things that when you taught it as a kid you kind of think you know it even if you don’t and you can go on using it the active voice shows who’s doing what passive voice hides it for people in the forum arriving in the formal register use it a lot because they don’t want to say I think so they say something like surely it will be Kahn conceded or it is generally agreed and but I’ll give you an example that I think you won’t forget it’s the active voice the in the active voice the subject the Baathists insurgents are doing the action we know what’s happening in the passive voice the subject doesn’t do the action the subject suffers it.

And it’s not clear who’s done it so who did it the Baathist insurgents the American troops is Islamist fundamentalists we don’t know so if you use the passive voice a lot you’re going to believe your readers in the dark about a lot and your writing is going to be unclear so short sentences finite verbs clear pronouns and the active voice this is just some more examples which you can look at when you get them print out of a passive construction changed into an active one I’ve just finished editing an article in which the author’s kept saying you know it is generally agreed or it is generally acknowledged and that’s there were two of them I thought they wouldn’t mind in me putting we think or we conclude but not they wouldn’t have it I went back to these generally concluded I thought well okay if they don’t want people to read their article that’s their look at.